Job Opening – Alpha Cat

Update:

LeeLoo Dallas has filled this position so there is no current openings at this time. Good luck LeeLoo!

 

It is with powerful sadness and deep emptiness that we post this upcoming job opening. Old Man River was diagnosed with the Big C. A tumor of liver-like consistency is taking over his abdomen. We could operate to try to remove it, but I wont. It is wrapped around an intestine and far too spread out for easy removal and he isn’t the fighter he used to be. I want him to go softly… not on a surgical table.

While I spend time with and help give River the best days ever, I cannot help but worry for Cooper. He isn’t old enough (smart enough) yet to be on his own. He needs a stern but loving mentor to continue his training when River goes on his next great journey. Hopefully River will play with Tygr, Winkey, Tissue Paper and all those beautiful felines that went before him while he waits for us to follow him into the unknown… For now, I post this job opening.

 

Job Description:

We are looking for a big cat to fill the upcoming void that will be punctured in our lives. Some health issues acceptable but this vet-tech needs a break from health drama. More importantly you must be a calm and confident cat, able to hold your own without any aggression. Dog-cats, please apply!  A cool cat is definitely in order. Our house is anything but calm and predictable. This chaos must please you, not scare you.

Job Duties:

  • Be a mentor for Cooper Cat and teach him how to be a cool cat.
  • Cooper wants to play… always. You will have to put up with him, and perhaps teach him a thing or two about safe wrestling.
  • Try out new toys and deliver constructive feedback, even when the toy is the stupidest thing ever.
  • Put up with, and never harm, the resident 4-year-old human boy who is very much like a two-year-old field Labrador retriever – Crazy and hungry.
  • Put up with the loving 9-year-old resident princess who wants to cuddle badly.
  • Be accepting of an indoor only lifestyle.
  • Be willing to accept a K9 Coworker if space opens up in the future for a Dog toy tester.
  • Like to devour Venison: Just kidding. That’s just the current Cooper diet. Love of venison will just assist with easy placement.
  • Ability to wait for the post to be empty. I need time with my River Man… I cannot be the owner you need at this time. My heart is elsewhere and will be for some time.

 

Benefits:

  • Full medical package with a vet-tech in house to manage your healthcare.
  • Room and board… forever for the right applicant.
  • A constant companion and cheerleader section when needed.
  • A home. A bed. Love. Food. Water….

 

Oh god River… How am I going to survive this?

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