Kittens are super adorable and easy to come by. It’ll be easy enough to care for one… right?
Here are some facts you will have to get ready for:
- Ancient Egypt worshiped cats as sacred guardians against evil spirits and disease. Cats have never forgotten this. They will absolutely expect you to wait on them paw and tail. They will absolutely expect you to just follow them around and pet them when they want to be pet. They will absolutely expect you to leave them alone when they can’t be bothered with a silly human any longer.
- You will step – barefoot – into cat vomit at least once. Perhaps a lot of times. Bleary eyed and groggy from sleep – squish! – cat vomit. You will get used to watching the floor when you wander in the dark for strange shadows to avoid.
- You will lose something: Curtains? Shredded. Homework? Shredded. Plants? Destroyed. Glass vase? Shattered.
- They will eat something they shouldn’t: Your dinner. Hair ties. Pennies. Your kid’s dinner. Toys. Paper. Plastic. Your fish. The butter your Mom left on the table to soften for guests. And this list is just a quick list from my two kids. There are longer lists.
- They will stand in your way or lay in a walkway and stare at you, expecting you to go around. When you try to, they will move at just the wrong time. You may fall down.
- They will wake you up at 2am and demand attention or food, probably food. And then at 3am… 4am… or until you wake up and do what they want.
- Money. They cost a lot of it. Even if you get one free on the corner or if a homeless one adopts you, they will cost money. Spay. Neuter. Vaccinations. Vet care. Emergencies. Food. Make a fund. Keep it ready.
- You will get scratches and bites in your flesh. Maybe intentional – Maybe in accidental play. You will be injured.
- They can be picky eaters. They can eat the same food wonderfully for years, get sick once and be done with that food for all times. They can also shun all food all the time. It may be hard to find one brand to stick with. You will need to try anyway. It may be like getting a toddler to eat broccoli.
- When you go on vacation you will have to find care for them, either rope a friend into helping or boarding them. You can not go on vacation without this. You will plan a fantastic getaway and your cat sitter will fall through last moment. You may not get that long deserved vacation.
- Listen to a friend with a cat complain. Everyone with a cat will complain. “They sleep on my face!” “They wrap around my feet so I cant walk.” “They cry to go out and then turn around and demand to come right back in!” “I buy all these expensive toys and the cat plays with the bag instead!” They will be right. Cats can be jerks.
- Your cat will look you dead in the face and then knock something expensive off a shelf. They will not be ashamed or try to hide it like dogs do. They will do it again while you are screaming about it.
So why in the world do people get cats?
- There is nothing more relaxing in the world than a purring cat laying on you.
- Their playful antics match so well with the regal way they carry themselves.
- Utah Valley Animal Rescue, where Cooper hails from, calls them ‘Fuzzy Antidepressants’ for a reason. Sure they raise your blood pressure now and then but overall they keep you calm and grounded.
- They are so soft and adorable that they have taken over the internet and rule it just like they ruled in ancient Egypt.
Did I miss anything? Leave a comment and let me know…